I am only a test.

I am a test. I am only a test. If I were a real emergency, I would instruct you all (and then assist in instructing myself) where to go.

And then we'd all skip on over to Starbucks with silly-ass grins, order fresh croissants and grande white chocolate mochas, and proceed to grin between gnoshing and sipping as we surfed on free Wi-Fi until they kicked us out. And then the alarm would go off and it would be February 2 all over again.

Fucking groundhogs.